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Updated: Aug 17, 2023

Trauma and shame often go hand-in-hand creating a vicious cycle that can be difficult to break. Trauma refers to a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that may have long-lasting effects on a person's mental and emotional well-being. Shame, on the other hand, is a feeling of deep humiliation or disgrace, often related to a perceived failure or wrongdoing.


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When a person experiences trauma, they may also experience feelings of shame. This can stem from societal messages that suggest that being a victim of trauma is a personal failing, or from a belief that they should have been able to prevent or overcome the traumatic experience. This internalized shame can lead to feelings of worthlessness, self-blame, and a sense that one is fundamentally flawed.

Shame can also exacerbate the impact of trauma, causing a person to withdraw from others and feel isolated. This can lead to a lack of support and opportunities to process the traumatic experience, which can lead to further shame and a sense of hopelessness.

It's important to remember that trauma and shame are not personal failures But rather a response to traumatic experiences and societal messages. Seeking help from a mental health professional can provide a supportive environment for processing trauma and working through feelings of shame. Therapy can also provide tools for managing and overcoming shame and working towards self-compassion and self-acceptance.

Breaking the cycle of trauma and shame requires effort, but with support and self-compassion, it is possible to heal and reclaim one's sense of self-worth.

Recovering from trauma and shame can be a difficult and emotional process, but it is possible with time, support, and the right tools.

Seven Steps that can help:

1. Seek professional help: A therapist or counselor can provide a safe and supportive environment to process and work through your experiences.

2. Practice self-care: Engage in activities that bring you joy, comfort, and relaxation. This could include exercise, meditation, journaling, or spending time with loved ones.

3. Connect with others: Surround yourself with supportive and empathetic individuals. Consider joining a support group where you can connect with others who have had similar experiences.

4. Identify and challenge negative thoughts: Trauma and shame can lead to negative self-talk and beliefs. Identify these thoughts and challenge them with evidence that contradicts them.

5. Practice self-compassion: Be kind and gentle with yourself. Acknowledge and validate your emotions and experiences and treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a loved one.

6. Use coping strategies: Develop healthy coping mechanisms such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and positive self-talk to help you manage difficult emotions and thoughts.

7. Take it slow: Healing takes time, and it's okay to move at your own pace. Don't be hard on yourself if you experience setbacks or have difficulties along the way.

Remember, everyone's journey is unique, and there is no one "right" way to heal. But with time, patience, and the right tools and support, you can make progress towards healing from trauma and shame.

Contact me at for more information: Strategies and exercises are available in our resource section of the website htpps://

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